The REAL Story - What Happens After?

It’s been 6 months since the book launch and that had me reminiscing this morning about how much changes in a year. Last year at this time, I was in editing. I had dreams for how the launch was going to look, what the timelines would be, and it was all wrapped up in a bow in my mind. (If you’ve been following the series, you know how that went…). Still, I’m sitting here thinking about how grateful I am that the project is done, the book is released, there are copies in hands, and it’s only the beginning.

This month, in honour of a half-a-year of being a published author, we’re talking about the great and not-so-great things that followed “launch day.” There is so much excitement around launch day… so much attention and support. But what happens after?

Well, as an author friend of mine, Daniel Im, told me when I asked him for book launch advice, “Book launches have a long tail.” In other words, it’s a long game. There is no miracle that turns you into a New York Times bestseller, or that sells your book for you to thousands of people per month. It’s ongoing work.

Great and not-so-great - here we come.

Writing a book is an instant credibility-booster. Especially as a coach and a speaker (or really if you’re in any kind of consulting or people-building), author is not a title that many people have. This means that you become part of a small group of people who are viewed as experts. Plus you have an entire manuscript that highlights you expertise.

There are doors that have opened to speak at events that would not have otherwise been available. There are clients who have signed on with me that needed the extra dose of credibility up front to get past their own egos. As an entrepreneur, it’s been really helpful.

After the book launch, my energy was shot. As in S.H.O.T. shot. I put everything I had into that launch, intentionally, with this faith that it was going to be a massive success and change the landscape of my future. In ways it did… and in more immediately obvious ways I overestimated my audience. Sidebar - the book continues to and will continue to change the landscape of my future.

The struggle was that I didn’t have the energy to continue to give the book the promotion that it deserves over the long haul. My business was in a solo-preneur season, and life was happening on the home front in the months following the launch. So I let the book sit because my kids and my clients (my core business) have dibs on my capacity.

Being human means limited capacity. And limited capacity means that priorities are everything.

A book is an endless source of content. Seriously. Quotes, reel snippets, live reads, bits and pieces to tease out and turn into talks and workshops. Now that hinges on capacity, which we just covered. *facepalm (we’re gonna be H.O.T. - humble, open, and transparent here. I'm not out to feed you some “life is sunshine and rainbows all day everyday BS).

AND.

Those speaking gigs that I had show up - you better believe I used the book as a framework for those talks. Reinventing the wheel is no longer necessary.

Deep breath… This is a great book. Seriously, it’s a fantastic. Not just because I say so and believe it wholeheartedly, but I keep getting that feedback. BUT… that underestimating my audience thing that I mentionned? Well, let me tell you - I read the books and the blogs, I talked to author friends, and I built out one heck of a plan. I did nearly all the things you’re “supposed to do” (the ones that aligned with me anyway). I had a killer launch team of people sharing and posting. I had pre-written reviews, and emails pre-scheduled to keep it simple for everyone involved. I had a social media plan pre-set on Later for every day on all the channels. I had pre-sale lists, podcast guest episodes, and book focus on my podcast. I lined up speaking events and PR features… it was thorough.

And then launch day came… And my launch team bought books... And some other people bought books... And some people bought multiple books... And then that was essentially that.

I had this expectation that everyone would have a couple friends that would buy it because they shared about it… Nope. I know because I had a spreadsheet tracking who bought one because they posted or messaged me (because of course I did!).

As it turns out, being famous really does help. Having a huge network really does help. And having an audience that entirely fits your ideal reader demographic, well that helps too.

Let me tell you who makes up a significant chunk of my social audience - a bunch of people from my 10 years in real estate. And who is my ideal reader? Christians and the spiritually curious or open-minded who want to step powerfully into purpose and are getting in their own way. The two aren’t mutually exclusive, but there is only so much overlap. I knew that would present as an interesting challenge, but it was still disappointing because I had such high expectations.

Now, this takes the disappointment and tosses it out the car window “I’m reading your book and OMG, it’s like I’m reading my own story!” or “I didn’t know how much I needed this!” The feedback from people about how what I have written is challenging and encouraging them; how it's helping them feel seen; how it's creating new awareness and permission to live boldly; and how it's providing space for self-compassion… This completely shifts my perspective.

We’ve talked a bit about imposter syndrome and comparison before - it can be so easy to get drawn there. But ultimately, I get to come back to the “why” behind the book. It was never about numbers and dollars (though I am still believing in crazy faith that it will sell 1 million copies). Instead, it was always about reaching people and creating an opportunity for transformation in their life.

So all in all, I’m celebrating what is, what was, and what’s coming. And I’m trusting that the book will reach who it’s supposed to reach and open the doors it’s supposed to open. I can rest and be content in that.

Xoxo

Written by: Juli Wenger

Author of Fired-Up, Fulfilled, And Free

Follow Juli at @juliwenger

The REAL Story - From No-vember to Do-cember

We made it through NOvember! Which means that Christmas is sneaking up on some of us - hello shopping list! And the rest of us have had our trees up since November 1st (*cough cough*). 

While I love the season, Christmas brings with it all kinds of boundary challenges. Also... the “shoulds” that seem to just seep into our lives. What to do, what to do, what to do…

We’re sidestepping the “what it’s really like to write a book” topic this month. Why? Because December tends to drain people of their capacity and resilience. Plus, it’s kinda connected to the whole book thing. What actually allowed me to carve out the time and space to walk through that process were… wait for it… BOUNDARIES!

I’ve been thinking a lot about boundaries this fall. Stepping into September, I knew that the pre-existing commitments in my life were going to be substantial. So I’ve been on the hunt for months - looking anywhere and everywhere for the distractions from what I’ve been calling “critical priorities”. That meant cutting, pausing, and post-poning commitments and projects that an old version of me would have just tried to slam together and figure out. Maybe its because I’m creeping 40, but life isn’t fun when there is no room to breathe.

It wasn’t easy - there are so many things I would have LOVED to have been a part of. And a lot that I wanted to continue to do. Networking events... the podcast... kids extracurricular activities... even book promotion… They were all paused for a season. Why? So I could make room for the people, projects, and personal growth that needed to take the front seat. I’m realizing, hindsight being what it is, that I filled a lot of time with things that kept me busy, but didn't move needles. It surprised me. Reflection is a beautiful thing. So is asking “why am I doing this?” and being super honest with ourselves about the real intentions behind our busyness.

So stepping into December, I’m looking at my calendar like a hawk circling to find a mouse. What goes? What doesn’t come in at all? What’s a straight no? What’s a “let me look and get back to you”? This is a season where shopping, and parties, and family visits, and the “I shoulds” all pile on top of our normal. And if we’re not intentional, they can take us out. We have limited capacity. I know… I  don’t love it either. But limitations to our time and capacity are a thing, and they make priorities even more important.

Here’s the issue with not being intentional. So many of us want Christmas to be a time of rest and refuelling. And we need that to ensure we have the capacity to step into the next season of our lives strong. If we don’t create the space for the recharge, protect said space, and approach this season with intentionality, we'll end up drained. Which means we'll lack capacity, especially in the forms of resilience and motivation, when we get to January 1. 

Lack of capacity also means you're more suceptible to the shoulds. If by then you haven’t had enough shoulding from Christmas commercials, or mother-in-laws, or a judgemental uncle... buckle up. There is a whole extra wave of “New Year, New You” BS that will hit the airwaves, vying for more of your attention and capacity... and shoulding all over you.

I don’t want that for you (and I don’t want that for me), so lets take a hot second for “Boundaries 101”!

WHAT IS A BOUNDARY?

A boundary reflects what we are willing to take on mentally, emotionally, or in terms of commitments. It is a pre-decided parameter for we will say yes to and no to in this season. We have limitations, both of resources and capacity. And while many decisions or commitments seem great independently, they can become unhealthy. Particularly if they contribute to a general "overdoing" and "overcommitting."

3 TYPES OF BOUNDARIES TO PUT IN PLACE THIS MONTH

Time boundaries

Let’s say, hypothetically of course, you have a family member that really rubs you the wrong way. And every time you spend time with them, you leave feeling beat down or like a dissapointment to the family. You can usually handle a dinner without getting too triggered, but more than that sucks the life right out of you. A boundary might look like staying for dinner, but not a 4 day visit. Or getting a hotel so you have your own space and limiting your time in that environment. It’s ok to make sure you’re ok.

Communication boundaries

What about the (hypothetical still) aunt who is always comparing her kids to you. You know those conversations where you’re not heard anyway and there is no winning? But you get sucked in EVERY TIME! And then get competitive and irritated and it spirals out of control? What if you set a boundary of not engaging in that conversation. Pre-deciding, I’m just going to say, “That’s nice that John bought a Lamborghini. I hope he loves it.” And then turn and start a conversation with someone else about something else (ANYTHING ELSE!). Eliminate the gas from the fire. She’s just trying to pad her insecurities and feel significant. It’s not your responsibility to help her fill that void. What conversations are you and aren’t you open to? And with who?

Calendar boundaries

Girl, you should see my timeblocks! Seriously though - take the time to actually plug in your self-care, family time, soul care, exercise or movement, nights off. And add all your priorities for your life. It helps create a visual that reminds you of your intentions. And then, when you go to book something in, you already have something in that spot that you would have to move. It requires more thought and can be the little trigger that helps you take the pause to evaluate if this commitment actually fits. I’ve been known to put potential networking nights or coffee date afternoon slots in as placeholders in my calendar. I’m relationship driven and when people invite me to something, my people-pleaser tries to come out. But there is my visual reminder that “I decided to be home 4 nights, which means only one out, and this week and I already have one booked.”

We could go down such a rabbit hole with this as a topic, but let’s land the plane with this. Your purpose doesn’t go on vacation. Your purpose does require you to take a vacation sometimes though. And after the Christmas season is over, we have things to do! I have courses to launch and people to move. You might have a new business to start, or an existing one to pivot and scale. There are communities to engage in, families to support and raise, and impact to create. Major uplevels and massive world-changing projects await! Don’t let Christmas take you out. It really doesn’t have to. 

Xoxo

Written by: Juli Wenger

Author of Fired-Up, Fulfilled, And Free

Follow Juli at @juliwenger

The REAL story intro- What writing a book is actually like…

Have you ever wondered what it’s like to become an author? I can pretty much guarantee you that the idea in your mind is TOTALLY different from reality.

I think of it like this. ——————->

First, I’m excited because over the next few months, we’re going to dive into all the juicy behind-the-scenes of the book-writing process. This was a gigantic project that taught me a lot about myself, brought up ALL my stuff, and required continual uplevel. If you want to write your own book or you’re looking at some other big project, buckle up. It’s worth it and insane all at the same time.

“Why?” 

This is the question most people miss when they start. Why take on that project? Why start that business? Why sell that product? And for me, why on God’s green earth do I want to write a book? 

And it’s a good question. I’m a mom with 2 small-ish kids and a 2-year-old business with a full client load. I host a podcast, I sing at church one weekend a month, and I’m generally busy. Not “busy as a status symbol” busy, but life is full and it’s usually intentional. Which means that if I’m choosing to take on a new project that requires a significant amount of time and energy, I better have a solid reason. Ps. Being that intentional and questioning my motives flies in the face of the impulsivity that often accompanies ADHD. But that’s a story for another day…

Anyway, back to why. Here’s what’s interesting - I met a lot of authors over the last year. A LOT. And a lot of “would-be” authors. And a lot of “I’m in the middle of writing my book and have been for 8 years” authors. And a lot of people who think it would be cool to write a book someday. Guess what separates the ones that do from the ones that don’t? 

A part of it is this - the ones that do have a reason why, and that reason is usually bigger than their ego. Here’s what that looked like for me: I’d gone on a faith-led journey of walking out of burnout, fear, and a total lack of fulfillment. I’d rediscovered who I was and why I was here, and I moved out of a life that was misaligned with that identity and purpose. I’d stepped into my calling, finding excitement for life again, a sense that what I was doing mattered, confidence and self-worth, and breathing room. There was a process that showed up in that journey, and that process was also changing the lives of my clients in profound ways. But more people needed that clarity and transformation than I could support in a one-on-one capacity. How could I do that? How could I walk massive numbers of people through, step-by-step, that journey of fear to freedom?

A book!

If I wrote a book, I could empower more people to live their purpose and love their lives. To wake up and know what they were doing matters and to be passionate about not only their work but their whole lives. And more people living that way makes the world better, more filled with love, more compassionate, and more just. Well, that’s simple enough right? I’ll sit down and map out that journey, write down a bunch of stuff about each stage, and then I’ll have a book right? That’s cute… and entirely not the case. And this is where it can either turn into a “something I’ll do one day” or an actual commitment. Guess what happened? I put a tab in my task manager named “Book”, added a few tasks, and pushed their due dates continually for about 6 months. I fell right into the camp of “I should do that at some point… I’ll wait until I feel REALLY called and then I’ll do it.” 

photo cred: Emilie Iggiotti

It’s embarrassing, but true. Coach Juli, who is living her calling and continually stepping through fear and getting out of her own way, got in her own way and let fear drive. How could I write a book about empowerment if I was still getting stuck? Who would want to read it anyway? What if I wrote it and people thought it sucked? 

“Why” isn’t enough on it’s own because of FEAR. At the core of it, I loved the idea of being an author. I loved the idea that I could spark and support more people. But I was scared. I would have told you that I was scared it would take too much time and energy (which was true, but not the main thing). Or that I needed to learn more to make sure I was equipped to do this (which was an excuse). Or that my business needed to be more stable first (also an excuse). But really I was scared of failure and rejection. 

As it happens fear of social rejection is the #1 fear people have, period. And it was up in my face. So I let myself be distracted for a while. It’s easier to be distracted than lean into the discomfort after all. But that couldn’t hold - because I did have a why. 

In September of 2021, I had an opportunity to participate in a 5 day “Map Your Book Out” challenge that one of my author friends was speaking at. I wanted to support him so I popped on for a few sessions, downloaded the worksheets, and tried to put together an outline. And that’s when I realized how tough this was going to be. 

Let me explain. My thought process pretty much looks like this —————->

So despite my client work, guiding people through a journey largely by intuition and feel (and definitely not a consistent linear path), I was faced with trying to put everything I do in some kind of order. I wrote ideas on the planning pages. I rearranged those pages all over my office floor. I sat and stared at them. I added ideas. I stared at them some more. I got frustrated and walked away. I came back and added more ideas. I rearranged them again. I got frustrated again. And then decided to start over and plan on the computer. I figured, maybe if I tried something that’s a system, it might work better for my brain. This is normal for me - you should see me write a talk. Anyway, it was like living in a brain that’s imploding from too much input and not enough capacity to organize the information.

Eventually, I sorted it out, found a system that worked for me, and mapped something out that resembled a book outline. It would change about 86 times between that point and publishing, but I had a start. And then, like the time I left my 500k/year real estate business in the dust because I got the “Go Now!” from God, I got a “Drop everything and write the book”.

SIDENOTE: The nudges or pulls in your soul to go after something often come with opportunities to take a step if we watch for them.

Now, I’m a service-based entrepreneur, and all service-based entrepreneurs know that the most important thing we do (other than taking care of existing clients) is finding new clients. I had a plan for that October to be networking and relationship building. I’d signed up for all the events I could find, planned and advertised a masterclass, and set up a bunch of coffees. My social media was planned out. My newsletters were planned out… It was going to be an epic month for my business and the people I would have the chance to serve. And all that planning meant that “Drop everything and write the book” was met with an “Are you kidding me?!?” 

I also knew though, from experience over the last few years, that when I’m called it’s better to not fight with God. So I dropped everything. I missed events. I postponed coffees indefinitely. I cancelled my masterclass (that one hurt my pride and I mulled it over for days before I pulled that trigger). I cleared my schedule as much as possible and built “no for now, but not forever” boundaries. And then I signed myself up for book writing Bootcamp because I know that I need accountability and deadlines to move on things. I also needed to be in an environment where I would be continually brought back to “what’s the next step?” Instead of focusing on the big picture that was TOTALLY OVERWHELMING at that point in time. Yup, even coaches need coaches. 

And then the writing began. Which is where we will (likely) pick up next month. Stay tuned, that process included a lot of time, tears, wasted time, and imposter syndrome. 

Xoxo,

Juli

Written by: Juli Wenger

Author of Fired-Up, Fulfilled, And Free

Follow Juli at @juliwenger

————

What if you could ditch fear, leave “not-enoughness” and “too muchness behind,” and answer the questions “who am I?” and “why am I here?”

What would it be like to live a life that you know matters? To have real fulfillment? To confidently and fearlessly step into the purpose you were created for?

This book is a roadmap back to yourself and a guide to help you get out of your own way so you can live that purpose with fearless confidence. To help you step out of your patterns and your commitment to not-enoughness. To be reminded that you are worthy because God put you on this earth and He makes you worthy. There is an assignment for you that can’t wait any longer.

This is your invitation into a life that is Fired-up, Fulfilled, and Free.