The REAL Story - What Happens After?

It’s been 6 months since the book launch and that had me reminiscing this morning about how much changes in a year. Last year at this time, I was in editing. I had dreams for how the launch was going to look, what the timelines would be, and it was all wrapped up in a bow in my mind. (If you’ve been following the series, you know how that went…). Still, I’m sitting here thinking about how grateful I am that the project is done, the book is released, there are copies in hands, and it’s only the beginning.

This month, in honour of a half-a-year of being a published author, we’re talking about the great and not-so-great things that followed “launch day.” There is so much excitement around launch day… so much attention and support. But what happens after?

Well, as an author friend of mine, Daniel Im, told me when I asked him for book launch advice, “Book launches have a long tail.” In other words, it’s a long game. There is no miracle that turns you into a New York Times bestseller, or that sells your book for you to thousands of people per month. It’s ongoing work.

Great and not-so-great - here we come.

Writing a book is an instant credibility-booster. Especially as a coach and a speaker (or really if you’re in any kind of consulting or people-building), author is not a title that many people have. This means that you become part of a small group of people who are viewed as experts. Plus you have an entire manuscript that highlights you expertise.

There are doors that have opened to speak at events that would not have otherwise been available. There are clients who have signed on with me that needed the extra dose of credibility up front to get past their own egos. As an entrepreneur, it’s been really helpful.

After the book launch, my energy was shot. As in S.H.O.T. shot. I put everything I had into that launch, intentionally, with this faith that it was going to be a massive success and change the landscape of my future. In ways it did… and in more immediately obvious ways I overestimated my audience. Sidebar - the book continues to and will continue to change the landscape of my future.

The struggle was that I didn’t have the energy to continue to give the book the promotion that it deserves over the long haul. My business was in a solo-preneur season, and life was happening on the home front in the months following the launch. So I let the book sit because my kids and my clients (my core business) have dibs on my capacity.

Being human means limited capacity. And limited capacity means that priorities are everything.

A book is an endless source of content. Seriously. Quotes, reel snippets, live reads, bits and pieces to tease out and turn into talks and workshops. Now that hinges on capacity, which we just covered. *facepalm (we’re gonna be H.O.T. - humble, open, and transparent here. I'm not out to feed you some “life is sunshine and rainbows all day everyday BS).

AND.

Those speaking gigs that I had show up - you better believe I used the book as a framework for those talks. Reinventing the wheel is no longer necessary.

Deep breath… This is a great book. Seriously, it’s a fantastic. Not just because I say so and believe it wholeheartedly, but I keep getting that feedback. BUT… that underestimating my audience thing that I mentionned? Well, let me tell you - I read the books and the blogs, I talked to author friends, and I built out one heck of a plan. I did nearly all the things you’re “supposed to do” (the ones that aligned with me anyway). I had a killer launch team of people sharing and posting. I had pre-written reviews, and emails pre-scheduled to keep it simple for everyone involved. I had a social media plan pre-set on Later for every day on all the channels. I had pre-sale lists, podcast guest episodes, and book focus on my podcast. I lined up speaking events and PR features… it was thorough.

And then launch day came… And my launch team bought books... And some other people bought books... And some people bought multiple books... And then that was essentially that.

I had this expectation that everyone would have a couple friends that would buy it because they shared about it… Nope. I know because I had a spreadsheet tracking who bought one because they posted or messaged me (because of course I did!).

As it turns out, being famous really does help. Having a huge network really does help. And having an audience that entirely fits your ideal reader demographic, well that helps too.

Let me tell you who makes up a significant chunk of my social audience - a bunch of people from my 10 years in real estate. And who is my ideal reader? Christians and the spiritually curious or open-minded who want to step powerfully into purpose and are getting in their own way. The two aren’t mutually exclusive, but there is only so much overlap. I knew that would present as an interesting challenge, but it was still disappointing because I had such high expectations.

Now, this takes the disappointment and tosses it out the car window “I’m reading your book and OMG, it’s like I’m reading my own story!” or “I didn’t know how much I needed this!” The feedback from people about how what I have written is challenging and encouraging them; how it's helping them feel seen; how it's creating new awareness and permission to live boldly; and how it's providing space for self-compassion… This completely shifts my perspective.

We’ve talked a bit about imposter syndrome and comparison before - it can be so easy to get drawn there. But ultimately, I get to come back to the “why” behind the book. It was never about numbers and dollars (though I am still believing in crazy faith that it will sell 1 million copies). Instead, it was always about reaching people and creating an opportunity for transformation in their life.

So all in all, I’m celebrating what is, what was, and what’s coming. And I’m trusting that the book will reach who it’s supposed to reach and open the doors it’s supposed to open. I can rest and be content in that.

Xoxo

Written by: Juli Wenger

Author of Fired-Up, Fulfilled, And Free

Follow Juli at @juliwenger

The REAL Story - From No-vember to Do-cember

We made it through NOvember! Which means that Christmas is sneaking up on some of us - hello shopping list! And the rest of us have had our trees up since November 1st (*cough cough*). 

While I love the season, Christmas brings with it all kinds of boundary challenges. Also... the “shoulds” that seem to just seep into our lives. What to do, what to do, what to do…

We’re sidestepping the “what it’s really like to write a book” topic this month. Why? Because December tends to drain people of their capacity and resilience. Plus, it’s kinda connected to the whole book thing. What actually allowed me to carve out the time and space to walk through that process were… wait for it… BOUNDARIES!

I’ve been thinking a lot about boundaries this fall. Stepping into September, I knew that the pre-existing commitments in my life were going to be substantial. So I’ve been on the hunt for months - looking anywhere and everywhere for the distractions from what I’ve been calling “critical priorities”. That meant cutting, pausing, and post-poning commitments and projects that an old version of me would have just tried to slam together and figure out. Maybe its because I’m creeping 40, but life isn’t fun when there is no room to breathe.

It wasn’t easy - there are so many things I would have LOVED to have been a part of. And a lot that I wanted to continue to do. Networking events... the podcast... kids extracurricular activities... even book promotion… They were all paused for a season. Why? So I could make room for the people, projects, and personal growth that needed to take the front seat. I’m realizing, hindsight being what it is, that I filled a lot of time with things that kept me busy, but didn't move needles. It surprised me. Reflection is a beautiful thing. So is asking “why am I doing this?” and being super honest with ourselves about the real intentions behind our busyness.

So stepping into December, I’m looking at my calendar like a hawk circling to find a mouse. What goes? What doesn’t come in at all? What’s a straight no? What’s a “let me look and get back to you”? This is a season where shopping, and parties, and family visits, and the “I shoulds” all pile on top of our normal. And if we’re not intentional, they can take us out. We have limited capacity. I know… I  don’t love it either. But limitations to our time and capacity are a thing, and they make priorities even more important.

Here’s the issue with not being intentional. So many of us want Christmas to be a time of rest and refuelling. And we need that to ensure we have the capacity to step into the next season of our lives strong. If we don’t create the space for the recharge, protect said space, and approach this season with intentionality, we'll end up drained. Which means we'll lack capacity, especially in the forms of resilience and motivation, when we get to January 1. 

Lack of capacity also means you're more suceptible to the shoulds. If by then you haven’t had enough shoulding from Christmas commercials, or mother-in-laws, or a judgemental uncle... buckle up. There is a whole extra wave of “New Year, New You” BS that will hit the airwaves, vying for more of your attention and capacity... and shoulding all over you.

I don’t want that for you (and I don’t want that for me), so lets take a hot second for “Boundaries 101”!

WHAT IS A BOUNDARY?

A boundary reflects what we are willing to take on mentally, emotionally, or in terms of commitments. It is a pre-decided parameter for we will say yes to and no to in this season. We have limitations, both of resources and capacity. And while many decisions or commitments seem great independently, they can become unhealthy. Particularly if they contribute to a general "overdoing" and "overcommitting."

3 TYPES OF BOUNDARIES TO PUT IN PLACE THIS MONTH

Time boundaries

Let’s say, hypothetically of course, you have a family member that really rubs you the wrong way. And every time you spend time with them, you leave feeling beat down or like a dissapointment to the family. You can usually handle a dinner without getting too triggered, but more than that sucks the life right out of you. A boundary might look like staying for dinner, but not a 4 day visit. Or getting a hotel so you have your own space and limiting your time in that environment. It’s ok to make sure you’re ok.

Communication boundaries

What about the (hypothetical still) aunt who is always comparing her kids to you. You know those conversations where you’re not heard anyway and there is no winning? But you get sucked in EVERY TIME! And then get competitive and irritated and it spirals out of control? What if you set a boundary of not engaging in that conversation. Pre-deciding, I’m just going to say, “That’s nice that John bought a Lamborghini. I hope he loves it.” And then turn and start a conversation with someone else about something else (ANYTHING ELSE!). Eliminate the gas from the fire. She’s just trying to pad her insecurities and feel significant. It’s not your responsibility to help her fill that void. What conversations are you and aren’t you open to? And with who?

Calendar boundaries

Girl, you should see my timeblocks! Seriously though - take the time to actually plug in your self-care, family time, soul care, exercise or movement, nights off. And add all your priorities for your life. It helps create a visual that reminds you of your intentions. And then, when you go to book something in, you already have something in that spot that you would have to move. It requires more thought and can be the little trigger that helps you take the pause to evaluate if this commitment actually fits. I’ve been known to put potential networking nights or coffee date afternoon slots in as placeholders in my calendar. I’m relationship driven and when people invite me to something, my people-pleaser tries to come out. But there is my visual reminder that “I decided to be home 4 nights, which means only one out, and this week and I already have one booked.”

We could go down such a rabbit hole with this as a topic, but let’s land the plane with this. Your purpose doesn’t go on vacation. Your purpose does require you to take a vacation sometimes though. And after the Christmas season is over, we have things to do! I have courses to launch and people to move. You might have a new business to start, or an existing one to pivot and scale. There are communities to engage in, families to support and raise, and impact to create. Major uplevels and massive world-changing projects await! Don’t let Christmas take you out. It really doesn’t have to. 

Xoxo

Written by: Juli Wenger

Author of Fired-Up, Fulfilled, And Free

Follow Juli at @juliwenger