End of the year notes with Coach Lilly Wang

Do you like setting goals for yourself? Do you think setting resolutions, or thinking about what you want out of a new year year, at the start of the year, is important?

If you’re following us, you probably answered “yes” to one (or all) of the above. And yes, goal setting and planning is certainly what help us get to where we want to go. 

However, what many people don’t do enough of is “wrapping things up.” This is a quantum physics tool that I use with my clients — that of wrapping things up, and of “closing the loop.” 

WHO IS LILLY?

Hello, my name is Lilly, and I help people get more of what they want and what they deserve. In so doing I often call upon my quantum physics (spiritual) training, something I started about 2 decades ago. I’ve worked on different types of projects involving consulting, coaching, and teaching across the globe. 

Whether on large-scale national level projects with the World Health Organization, or with small businesses and solopreneurs wanting to grow more and live out their passion more, I absolutely love seeing people ask for help and reaching more of their potential.

LET‘S GET STARTED!

Okay, so why do I advise people to “close the loop?” Read on to get a glimpse of what coaching looks like!

I advise clients to practice different tools to “close the loop” on many things in their lives so that they can “complete” things, so that they can then “begin” other things with better and stronger energy. 

This can be explained at the mental level, and understood on the emotional level. 

For example, if you are experiencing miscommunication or crossed wires with a colleague or business partner, does that unspoken tension feel good, or bad? Probably bad, right? So would having a conversation about it help? Yes, if the conversation can be done in an open and respectful space, it often would, wouldn’t it? 

This scenario represents what I call “closing the loop” and resolving an incomplete issue. By closing the loop here, we find a sense of “completion,” so to speak, to a problem that was previously causing tension, and one that may have been affecting team morale and productivity. 

And so it is with other things in our lives. We all make promises to others, and set goals for ourselves. But we feel a sense of tension when we don’t take the necessary steps toward them, don’t we? So whether it’s in our personal lives or our business and professional lives, it stands to reason that the more loops we close, the less tension we feel, and thus the more energy and positive emotions we might have remaining, for actually creating the life we want. 

I help clients with more complex and more personal situations, and often use tailored tools and systems that apply to their situation at that time, which I can’t exactly do with you as I don’t quite know what your goals are and what it is that you’re going through right now. But here are 3 very simple things I could advise you on doing that would really help in closing the loop and finding a sense of completion and peace. Ready?

Sit in a quiet, comfortable space. If you’re musically inclined, you can put something soft or inspiring on.

Grab a journal and write the following down. I’ve attached quantum physics coaching (explanations) next to each of the 3 steps to help explain why these activities are so powerful.

1. 10 things for which you can thank and praise yourself.

Examples of this might look like “I am thankful I finished that scary email today.” Or “I feel really proud of myself for having put myself out there and reaching out to so and so last week.”

Why? Because most people feel too much tension about their broken promises to themselves, so we need to start flipping the script on this and acknowledging the good that we do!

2. Next, 4-5 things for which you can forgive yourself. 

Examples of this might look like “I forgive myself for not having been as kind as I would have liked to have been to so and so, when such and such happened this year.” Or “I forgive myself for not having asked for help when I needed it this past fall.”

Why? Because when most people dream of what they want in life, they’re the first ones to stop themselves from going after them. They might cite that one time 10 years ago that they didn’t follow through, or those 50,000 times in the past year during which they didn’t give it their all. 

I’m not trying to depress you here, but rather, to point out how common it is for so many of us to stop ourselves in the track when goal setting. Learn the steps to self-forgiveness, and you’ll see yourself becoming more and more open to the things you do want, and do deserve. 

3. And lastly, 10 things for which you can say gratitude.

Examples of this might look like “I am so thankful for the kindness and patience that so and so showed me last week when we were on zoom.” Or “I am so grateful that I have 2 great mentors in my life.”

Why? Because giving true and genuine thanks is one of the most powerful ways of raising our energetic vibration. And why would we want to raise our energetic vibration? Because all the good things we want in life - fulfilment, self-actualization, love, self love, joy, and so on, exist on a high energetic vibration. 

Do this once before the end of the year, and once again at the start of the year if you can. Let me know how it goes and how it helped you. 

CONCLUSION

Closing the loop and finding a sense of completion help us let the past stay in the past, thus creating an energetic space in which we can actually start dreaming of our vision and goals again.

If you’ve heard me speak or if you work with me, you’ve probably heard me say that throughout my career in consulting and coaching, I’ve never seen a lack of talent being an issue. We as humans are all so full of talent and potential. But what I’ve seen is an ability to follow-through, to believe in ourselves, and to continue and persevere when things get tough (and things will always get tough). 

Most people don’t allow themselves to dream. Let’s flip that script, and begin to dream about the life we want again, beginning with these tools. 

Thank you for reading this today. :) If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to reach out and ask!

With love,

Lilly 

CONNECT WITH LILLY

If this helped you today, consider following Lilly here: 

Instagram: @thelillywang 

Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/successeveryday

Or booking with her at https://calendly.com/lillystrategy

UP NEXT:

Lilly and YEG Boss Babes are creating a “Working from Home with Kids Survival Guide” launching in early 2021 and we are so excited! This is a fun, supportive, and coaching-oriented digital download! 

Happy Holidays from Lilly Wang and YEG Boss Babes!

How changing your mindset and dropping the diet mentality can positively affect your mental health

Brandy, a nutrition and lifestyle coach is here to discuss a topic on #tipsytuesday that most of us women may struggle with, the diet mentality. It can be hard to stop with all the rules you’ve likely been following for years. Every diet has rules. The question is how do you break free?

Even macro tracking has rules. However, at least with macro tracking, it can teach you one very valuable tool... portion control. I believe that is one of the best benefits of macro tracking.

But how do you let go of labeling food good vs bad? How do you start eating more carbs? How do you stop restricting yourself to then binge on it later? How do you eat before bed? How do put time aside for yourself? How do you stop over-exercising? With so many rules, so now it’s time to start breaking some of these rules.

If you want to feel free, you have to start letting go of the rules.

Breaking the rules can have you feeling shame and guilt, no different than overeating. It will take time but all you need to do is start.

Changing your mindset is a great place to begin. Stop thinking with a scarcity mindset and switch to living and thinking in abundance. 

Those who live with a scarcity mindset tend to have rules, restrictions, guilt, and shame. They will think about the past and dwell on a binge or cheat meal. They will seek control and resort to negative self-talk. Procrastination takes over, driven by a self-sabotaging ego that fuels fear and anxiety. Those who live with a scarcity mindset tend to carry a lot of self-doubts and strive for perfection. 

Switch to an abundance mindset, you will think more about consistency, flexibility, and sustainability. You will have more compassion for yourself, learn from your experiences and focus on the present. You will begin to let go of what you can not control and lean into the unknown. You will have more self-confidence and acknowledge when mistakes happen. The best part, you give yourself permission to live and to trust yourself. 

The next thing you can do is change the language you have around food. There are no good foods and there are no bad foods. There will always be a better choice. Accept that you are not a good person for choosing to eat salad just like you are NOT a bad person for choosing to eat cake. 

How silly does it sound... I’m bad about eating cake? Seriously? This does not make you bad. It makes you human. The diet mentality will have you believe you are wrong, bad, unhealthy, nondeserving but this is simply not true.

You have to start listening to your body. You have to start trusting your body.

You have to change your mindset.

You have to start making peace with food. Carbs do not make you fat. OVER indulging, bingeing can lead to weight gain but what leads to overeating, to begin with? That is where you need to start. If you are not eating enough or if you RESTRICT certain food groups you will likely feel more hungry and will desire whatever it is you tell yourself you can’t have until you give in (aka - living with a scarcity mindset).

Change the approach and change your mindset. There is no diet out there that will help you with this. You must be willing to allow yourself to listen to your body. Are you hungry? Are you full? Are you craving food because you restrict certain choices? 

There are many myths out there when it comes to nutrition. The first step is to get more educated and you can do this by hiring a nutrition coach. Look for one that has experience along with knowledge. Ask for referrals, jump on a call and ask the coach questions. Don’t fall into marketing gimmicks promising results.

Diet mentality, it did not happen overnight. Neither will a change in your mindset. If you have always been on a diet or tried various ones, you will be stuck in a belief system that taught you nothing except to fear food or lay a foundation for disordered eating mentality.

You can use metrics like macros to help you figure out calories if you like but again, it’s only a method of tracking. It’s no different than journaling food. Both create awareness. From there, change your mindset. Change the language and how you speak to yourself and learn to trust yourself more. It’s about keeping your eyes on your plate and doing what is best for you. Comparisons will break you. What works for that person will not necessarily work for you.

Diets are not the answer to fat loss. YOU are the answer.

You have to be willing to let go, dig deep and put the effort in. Do you realize that you are a bi-product of the choices you’ve made over time? This is usually a result of the diet mentality. Always on a diet, never actually trying to listen to your body and figuring out what is truly best for you.

You will become a healthier human by changing your mindset. You will feel better and by default likely look better too. Mindset is a big piece of the puzzle and the key to helping you drop the diet mentality. Lean into the unknown, trust yourself,  be honest with yourself, have an open mind and stop procrastinating.

#TipsyTuesday post submitted by Brandy Schroeder
Motivate and B Fit | motivateandbfit.com
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MAD LOVE MONDAY | Caterina Snyder

I know a lot of people say that they were born as entrepreneurs and that they left their jobs to pursue their passion or their true calling, but I’m not one of them. Not even close.

The truth is that although I’ve always been very driven and outwardly successful, in my education, career, for most of my life that was a pretty picture I painted, not a reflection of my inner reality.

Photography by: @tracey.jazmin

The truth is that I struggled HARD behind the scenes and I never fit in. Not even a little bit. I was bullied from elementary school to high school. I was sick all the time and had chronic infections, brutal migraines, and insomnia. In fact, I was on a pretty regular schedule of major burnouts every 10 years (age 15, 25 and 35) and minor burnouts every 2 years. Despite all this, my ambition, work ethic, and need for approval and validation allowed me to excel in University, skip my masters and go straight into a fully funded Ph.D. program, AND have a lot of pretty impressive jobs… all before I was 30.

But I was living a lie and lies will always fall apart. I was constantly plagued by self-doubt and anxiety.

And even though my transcripts and resume are impressive I quit my Ph.D. program after 2 years because I basically had a nervous breakdown. I've also been fired from 3 different jobs! The people I worked with in my corporate phase mostly hated me, even when I didn’t get fired because I was constantly rocking the boat and pushing the envelope. And let's be honest, in our vanilla society, disruptors are rarely valued, especially when they're fat feminists who are loud AF and are challenging everything you hold dear. But as ugly and miserable as that struggle was, I persisted. I got back up. Again. And again.

I learned from my ‘mistakes’ and all the rejection but not in the way you might expect. Instead, I didn’t tone myself down or try to be more likable… well, that’s a lie, I did try but that failed too. In short, I refused to go quietly into the night and conform to what the world told me I ‘should’ be. And that’s how I met entrepreneurship.

Photography by: @tracey.jazmin

I wish I could say that it was this romantic love at first sight introduction, but the truth is we got off to a rocky start. I didn’t leave my job because I had the courage to change my life, I left on medical leave. Then I spent the next 4 uninspired years trying to make a go of it with in-the-box consulting work. I was eventually financially successful, but I had SERIOUSLY jerky clients. And then things got really bad. Lol. I went 9 months without a single client. My hubby supported us, but we nearly maxed out our credit and cashed in most of our savings. In this time of ‘failure’, however, I did something that the Universe had been waiting 38 years for me to do.

I stopped apologizing for who I was and stepped up to be the leader I was born to be.

It began, in earnest, when I met a life coach, named Glenda Lane. She told me something that blew my mind. Something I had never considered. She said, “You’re a Unicorn, thank God you’re not normal!” In my 38 years on earth, I had never once considered that being so weird was actually an advantage?!? A reason why people might like me instead of disliking me and pay me more instead of less?!? Suddenly, the world of entrepreneurship started to look very different. And I realized something that would, over the next two years, change everything in my life and business. I realized that the only rules were the ones YOU CREATE. In truth, there are NO RULES. No right way and wrong way. And this knowledge set me free.

I finally stopped apologizing for who I was and instead started screaming it from the rooftops. I stopped talking about what I do and instead talked about what I believe because that’s what actually matters. And it worked. Like BIG TIME. People began to see me differently and a community rapidly built itself around me. This is turn gave me the courage and insight to pursue what had always been my true passion and greatest gift, helping other Unicorns realize they’re Unicorns and then using that unicorness (totally a word!) to build confidence, community, and world-changing movements.

In the year following my 9-months-with-NO-clients phase I made $150K, landed my first $50k+ client, and went from working with assholes to working with the kind of Unicorns that are shattering ceilings, debunking myths about who we ‘should’ be, and completely reinventing in an utterly unique way, how we define success.

And the icing on the cake? I even have a team of badass Unicorns who help me do this!

Photography by: @tracey.jazmin

So the next time you think that Entrepreneurship is all about struggle or that you’re never going to make an impact, have a community, or be loved for who you really are… STOP that runaway train of self-sabotage and KNOW THIS: Each of us is a magical fucking unicorn and that all you need to do is let her out.

Caterina Snyder | Brand Consultant & Coach
https://caterinasnyder.com/
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https://www.facebook.com/caterinasnyderconsulting/